


Tainted Love

by OneHundredSuns



Series: Battle Scars [4]
Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Blood, Canon - Movie, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Magic, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Vampires, Violence, Warlocks, Whipping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-18
Updated: 2016-02-05
Packaged: 2018-04-09 22:47:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4367180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneHundredSuns/pseuds/OneHundredSuns
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It wasn’t supposed to be this way. It wasn't supposed to be this hard. It wasn't supposed to hurt this bad.</p><p>But it does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Now that my DCBB is almost done I’m trying to get caught up on all of my stories, so I started the next part in this series. If you’re reading my other Malec fic _A Life Given Willingly_ do not fret because I will be updating that as soon as I can! Anyway enjoy and thank you for reading. Oh and thanks to Only_1_Truth for the idea to this one!  <3

Chapter One

Alec’s first thought was to yank on the chains and try to free himself but a little voice told him that would not be happening. That there was no way Camille and her cronies would make it that easy after going through all of the trouble of kidnapping him in the first place. At least it probably wasn’t about his blood since no one had fed on him. He could see in their eyes that they wanted to because vampires tended to be perpetually hungry but they were holding back. Standing a fair distance away and just staring.

No this was obviously Camille’s show and Alec cursed himself for underestimating her. But he honestly had never thought she would go _this_ far to prove something. To prove that she was powerful or that she could take him out easily and have Magnus all to herself. Because naturally this _was_ about Magnus. Everything led back to him in one way or another.

Lifting his chin, he kept his expression blank and tried to force his heartbeat to remain steady. She wouldn’t kill him, she didn’t have the courage. “Let me go. Now.”

Grinning at him, Camille sat up and placed her hands primly in her lap. Even under the harsh glow of the dirty lights she looked wonderful; the sparkles of her gown throwing tiny shimmers onto the floor. “But you just got here. What kind of host would I be if I simply kicked out our guest of honor so rudely? No I think we should have a nice little chat first.”

He rolled his eyes. “I don’t have anything to say to you. I _never_ have anything to say to you.”

She shrugged. “You can listen then I suppose. I think you’ll actually learn something this time seeing as how this conversation is on my terms.”

Alec huffed. “Somehow I doubt that. You had to kidnap me to get me here because you know otherwise I’d kick your ass. Cowardice doesn’t suit you, Camille.”

Smirking, she stood and walked over to stand in front of him. Her bright green eyes looked him over speculatively, a pale hand reaching out to smooth over the runes on his left arm. “With you like this I can _almost_ see what Magnus sees in you. There is something beautiful about defiance, especially in the young.”

He jerked back the best he could. “Don’t touch me.”

She laughed. “Scared you might like it?” Not waiting for a reply, she sighed dramatically. “Alec I’ll admit you have thrown me for a loop. I’m not used to ants such as yourself being such a problem for me. I mean Magnus has always had a _thing_ for Shadowhunters but never like this. It’s been purely…physical. So I can only assume you must suck cock like a champion.”

Against his will his cheeks flushed pink. “Shut up. You do know the others will be looking for me, right? They will kill everyone in this room when they get here.”

Camille did not seem too concerned. “Last time you and your little ragged band of morons had the werewolves help. Somehow I don’t see that happening this time.” She grabbed his chin, nails digging into his skin. “Besides you could have your throat slit before then. Before they even realize you are missing.”

Alec gritted his teeth. “Are you really this pissed off because Magnus doesn’t want you anymore? He told me about the games you used to play. This is just another one, isn’t it, because you’re not the center of attention?”

Camille tilted her head to the side. “Maybe. But he doesn’t get to walk away from _me_. That’s never been how we operated.”

Alec stared at her. “Things change. If you really cared about Magnus even a little bit you’d be happy he’s happy.”

Camille’s face twitched before morphing into a deep scowl. Apparently he’d hit a nerve. “Clever little bug, aren’t you?” she taunted. “I do want Magnus happy but _not_ with some stupid little Nephilim that makes a business out of killing my kind. And _his_ kind. Frankly I don’t understand how he can turn his back on you considering all of the knives you could shove into it. He steps out of line once and your Clave will task you with taking him out.”

Alec frowned. “They would never do that. Magnus has helped the Clave more than any other Warlock and they know that.”

She snorted. “Like that matters? He stays alive because he is useful but the moment he _stops_ being useful or causes too much trouble? Well we know what happens then. Tell me little ant, could you do it?” Stepping closer, she tapped his chin. “Could you kill him? Could you drag one of your sharp blades across his neck and watch as he bled out? Or maybe you’d use an arrow. You’re good with those, right? You could perch on a rooftop somewhere and do it without having to look him in the eye.”

 _Don’t let her get to you._ “Magnus knows I would never hurt him. I’m not _you_.”

“Did Magnus ever tell you how we met? It was London 1857 and as far as I was concerned, he was the most gorgeous warlock I had ever seen. He couldn’t keep his eyes off my…attributes and we flirted from our very first sentence onwards.” She said quite happily. “We were at some ghastly meeting where one of your old Consuls kept droning on and on about something—I don’t even remember. But I remember Magnus. Unfortunately however even then his proclivity for Shadowhunters reared its ugly head but I was young back then and found it interesting to a point. He didn’t seem to understand how they were.”

Alec didn’t want to hear this but there was nothing he could do. So he just kept his face impassive and hoped his friends would find him soon. That his _parabatai_ would find him soon. “Oh.”

Camille giggled. “Anyway he saved me from a demon and then selflessly let me go with just a kiss because he realized there was another in love with me, and he wanted that young man to have his own slice of happiness. If I hadn’t known how special he was I knew then.” Walking around him, her cold fingers grazed his lower back. “And when I finally saw him again—many years later—it was magical. There is something intoxicating with dating a warlock. But I suppose I don’t have to tell you that.”

Her touch made his skin squirm unpleasantly. “Why are you telling me all of this? It means nothing to me. I know that you and Magnus had a past and I. Don’t. Care. You can talk until you are blue in the face and it’s just chatter because—because he’s with me now and you don’t matter. You’ll never matter again.”

“Are you so sure?” She inquired. “Granted he might not want me while you’re alive but what about after when you’re dead? When you’re rotting in the ground and I am still here… You see sweetheart that is the one major strike against you. Nephilim or not you’re still very mortal. You will age and wrinkle and gray.” She laughed. “Just imagine how you will look when you’re sixty—if you make it that far—and he is still in the throes of youth? Smooth and handsome and fighting off an entirely new crop of people.”

Alec swallowed hard and bit the inside of his cheek to keep from replying. Magnus’ immortality wasn’t something he thought much about because there were more pressing matters to deal with. Like his being in the closet and his inability to voice what he honestly wanted. But he wasn’t stupid; he realized that while Magnus would remain gorgeous forever he would age and crinkle. Thinking about being with Magnus for years in the future both warmed his bones and chilled them. That kind of love would be amazing yet so completely terrifying.

And then one day he would leave Magnus all alone. It just seemed cruel; immortality versus mortality.

Camille patted his shoulder. “I know; it’s hard once you honestly give it some thought. Of course the flip side is you die and he has to grieve you. Do you know how many people Magnus has buried, little ant? How many he’s watched die either violently or by old age?” Her voice was soft, almost hypnotic in his ear. “It’s a miracle he’s not insane by now. The more he loves you the more it hurts when he loses you. You’re proud of how much he cares about you but you won’t be here to see what’s left of him after you’re gone. So I was right. One way or another you _will_ break him because that is what Shadowhunter’s do.”

Suddenly Alec could see it as clear as day:

_Magnus young and still very beautiful sitting beside an old man in a nursing home with white hair, his skin dotted with faded runes, his blue eyes staring vacantly at nothing._

_Magnus speaking softly to him and telling stories about their life together but the man doesn’t react._

_Magnus taking his hand, squeezing his fingers and looking so incredibly sad but vowing to come back tomorrow. To come back every day afterwards because he loves him and knows, deep down, it’s appreciated._

_Magnus forcing his way into the_ City of Bones _and to one crypt in particular where he traces his fingers over the cold stone._

_Magnus pressing his forehead to the rock as he shudders and crystal clear tears roll down his cheeks._

_Magnus at home alone staring aimlessly out of the window, day after day, month after month, year after year._

_Because of him…_

Against his will a low sob escaped his throat and Alec went limp in his chains. It was some kind of mind trickery but it was also the truth. If they continued the way they were Magnus would watch him die, either as an old man or brutally in some upcoming war. Perhaps the one steadily brewing with Valentine. The point however was that if things kept going the way they were he would hurt Magnus, and that was the last thing he wanted to do.

Of course the other part of him realized this was just Camille being _Camille_. That the status of his relationship with Magnus and how it might progress was something they needed to talk about. The future was unpredictable and anything could happen.

“Aw poor little ant.” Camille mused. “The truth hurts.”

Exhaling deeply, Alec tried to collect himself the best he could. “Fuck you. At least I’ll _be_ mourned when I die. All—all you showed me was how much Magnus loved me.” A fire sparked in his chest and he clutched at it. “Would he do the same for you? I think we both know the answer to that. No one cares about you. I bet your own vampires wouldn’t be here if they didn’t have to be. I know Simon thanks the Angel every day that Raphael sired him and not you.”

She slapped him hard across the face. “I’ll get to your little friend in due time. He’ll swear his allegiance to me or die.”

His cheek was throbbing but he ignored it and turned his attention to pink haired Kara. “Is this what you want? Is this the kind of person you want having complete power over you and everything you do? Someone you have to obey because you’re too scared not to.” He motioned to the other vampires. “Doesn’t seem to be one big party, does it?”

Camille growled and slapped him again, making his ears ring. “My children love me!”

Alec gasped but even this was better than her heart breaking visions. “Fear is not love, Camille. Fear is what you have when there is nothing left.”

Whipping around to glance at the other vampires she stalked over to one of them and pointed to his thick leather belt. He fumbled it off quickly and handed it to her, not meeting her eyes. “Is that so? Alright if you want to talk about fear I am more than willing to engage you. Tell me about how it felt when some of my wayward children strung you up and drunk from you. Were you terrified they would drain you completely? Did you cry for your mother?”

He wrapped his fingers around the loops in the chain. “No. I didn’t cry for anyone because I knew my family would fine me eventually. And they did.” His next words were stupid but he said them anyway. “Your vampires taking me is actually what brought Magnus and I closer together so I suppose…I should thank you.”

Camille’s eyes were shining with rage as she strolled back over to him; it didn’t take much to set her off. “I _hate_ you. At least Will knew his place.”

Alec chuckled softly. “You hate me because I won’t do what you tell me to do or act how you want me to act.” He wet his lips. “I wonder if that’s just you being a spoiled brat or you being scared of me.”

“I’m going to teach you some manners.” She snapped the belt loudly. “And then I’m going to give you to my children. You can be Kara’s first feed.”

He’d had worse than being hit by a belt but the leather still bit into his skin; Camille swinging it as hard as she could. His body jolted forward and he snapped his mouth closed to hold in the yell that wanted to burst out. He could _feel_ his flesh bruising. She lashed him again in the middle of his chest and he squeezed his eyes closed, fingers digging into the chains to help him stay grounded. His skin was on fire, the buckle leaving square imprints where it struck him that quickly darkened and purpled. She then stepped behind him and cracked him across the back, opening up a bloody welt from his ribs to his shoulder blade.

The metallic scent hit the air and the other vampires perked up like hungry dogs about to get a meal.

Alec had no idea what would happen to him but he had faith his friends would find him just like they did last time. He just hoped it wouldn’t be too late. Last time he didn’t have the Queen of the vampires beating him blue because she was jealous or annoyed that he had the man she wanted. _I don’t even believe she really wants him. She wants what she can’t have_. Still it was ballsy as hell kidnapping a Shadowhunter in broad daylight, something the Clave would no doubt be interested in if he survived to give them details. It would damage their truce with vampires but that was okay. Maybe it was time to give all of that another look.

Another whack and Alec grunted, his nerves becoming super sensitive, leaving him feeling scrubbed raw right down to the bone. As his body pumped up the adrenaline he couldn’t help but think about Magnus and their date. What would he think when he didn’t show up? Would he assume he’d gotten cold feet and decided not to go through with everything? Or would he think he was just blowing him off? 

_I hope he doesn’t think that. I hope he knows me better than that._

Luck had never been on his side and tonight was a stark reminder of that. Perhaps it was a lesson to never wait for tomorrow what you could have today. He’d let the fear of what his emotions meant get the best of him. Let them stop him from enjoying all that his relationship with Magnus could be. And _just_ when he’d realized what he wanted something happened once again. First Magnus nearly died and now here he was, being beaten like a dirty rug by a crazed vampire. It was a sign.

_But of what?_

What if it was the opposite? The universe trying to tell him that being with Magnus was all wrong. That _he_ was all wrong letting himself be seduced by not only a warlock but a man. _By the Angel… No it’s my brain—the pain is messing with me. Or Camille getting into my head again._

“You are a resilient one.” Camille smeared a finger through the blood dripping down his back and brought it to her lips. “Hm bitter, just as I’d suspected.”

“Pe—people in glass houses…” He muttered around a cough.

“This isn’t working.” She tossed the belt to the floor. “Find me something better!” Her minions jumped to do as she requested. “Maybe something metal. Maybe if I break a few of those angel kissed bones you’ll start taking me seriously.”

“I take you seriously.” Alec whispered. His arms were numb and it was getting hard to breathe. “But you—you don’t say anything. I—I don’t even know why I’m here. Why you are doing this to me.”

Camille grabbed a handful of his hair and jerked his head back. “I’m making a point,” she hissed. “The truce between Shadowhunters and Downworlders has made everyone complacent. My children are a parody of themselves. And now we have Valentine on the loose; the man who once started an entire movement focused on eradicating all Downworlders no matter if they spilled human blood or not. We all know the moment he threatens your kind, _my_ kind will get thrown under the bus. But perhaps they’ll be willing to stand up and fight if they see Shadowhunters are nothing more than flesh and blood.”

Alec blinked slowly. “So thi—this isn’t about Magnus?”

She grinned wickedly. “Oh no he factors in. I figure without you hanging around his neck like a stone he’ll remember where his true place is. Who he should be fighting for. And if that doesn’t work at least there will be one less Nephilim in the world. Either way? I win.”

*

When Magnus thought about sleeping with Alec—and he _did_ think about it—usually it would be in a very romantic setting after a romantic evening of dinner and a movie. Sometimes when he was feeling spicy he imagined it would be after some hectic battle, with their hearts racing and their adrenaline pumping. They’d return to his apartment to clean up yet end up crashing together like meteors; clothes ripping and hands clutching at whatever skin they could reach. It would be frantic but comforting, and afterwards they would cuddle in his bed and refuse to move for anything. Except to maybe feed the Chairman.

Either way he always knew it would be on Alec’s terms. That Alec would inadvertently make the first move even if he took over. And he had been right.

He wanted tonight to be special for Alec because contrary to what “the kids” said your first time should be special. Or at least memorable in a good way because you never got another one. Well unless you were a female into anal but that was beside the point. Anyway Alec was skittish and still struggling with his issues so he deserved a night he would never forget. A night that when he spaced out and the details came back to him, he turned solid red with a smile that wouldn’t go away.

Usually when planning a party he had days in advance to get a dj and order obscene amounts of food and alcohol. However since this was more low key he conjure everything up with a self made promise to send money to wherever it came from. He’d pushed all of his living room furniture to the back of the room and placed one single round table in the middle with two candles on top. Hanging from the ceiling were white Chinese lanterns, swinging back and forth with a breeze that wasn’t there. The stereo was all ready to play a mix cd he’d spent an hour making, filled with songs about love and devotion and of course, sex. Once they moved to the bedroom he planned to make the stars shine for Alec and he meant that literally. The first time they’d ever done anything had been under falling stars so he wanted to recreate that.

Magnus was happy. He was zipping around his home with no socks on talking to his cat and he was _happy_. And it wasn’t like happiness was a foreign concept to him because it wasn’t. He often opened himself up to moments of giddiness but he could tell this was different. This was like flying, like finding the perfect pair of shoes or having someone to hold your hand when you were scared. It was…well it was love.

As a warlock he enjoyed the theory of love and had found himself in it more than once but that sometimes tended to be the problem. He could only love someone for such a small amount of time before they left him. Hell Camille had been a vampire yet she’d ended up leaving too so… In a way he’d always figured he was destined to be alone on some level. To drift through a sea of faces that cling to him for as long as they could before eventually giving up and letting the waves take them. Ragnor chose to see it as being lucky; getting to experience different kinds of love over and over again. Honestly after a while the spark of that dimmed considerably. When all you did was bury the people you cared about you wanted to stop caring completely.

Things were different where Alec was concerned though. Alec was unlike any person he’d ever been with before and it made Magnus possessive and selfish over him. Made him want to bundle him up in a blanket and keep him safe from the world, which was silly because Alec could kick the ass of most things that would hurt him. Still he wanted him _forever_ and he couldn’t remember the last time he’d wanted anything forever. Even so he’d never been like Tessa—having one human he loved die on him was enough for several lifetimes.

That was the problem when you never died. Things started to lose their meaning. Nothing had an anchor.

Once upon a time while watching the lights play off Camille’s jewels he’d thought _this could be something special_ and it was…until it wasn’t. He felt that way with Alec but the scary part was that he didn’t see an ending. Oh he saw gray hair and an eventual grave but it wasn’t _Alec’s_ , it was his own. And that was fucking terrifying because even if you lived to be a thousand you always felt like there was never enough time. Or that you needed more time. These past few weeks with Alec had been amazing but it wasn’t enough. He wasn’t sure years would be enough.

But death? Well that was permanent. Nothing would come between them in death.

Most warlocks knew being immortal was sort of a lie because if they wanted to die they could. He could probably blow his brains out if he wanted to.

Magnus had never wanted to follow anyone into the dark, but he felt like he could do that for Alec. That an eternity with Alec beat an immorality alone or with anyone else. Ghosts were real so if he wanted to see how the world changed that much he’d just pop over. The only problem was that in order to die of old age presumably when Alec would he would have to strip himself of his warlock self. And that wasn’t easy by any means. Not impossible but also not easy. Though if things kept going as smoothly as they were he could see himself looking into it, even though his boyfriend was a closet case. When you knew you knew.

He would worry about all of that later. Tonight was for fun stuff.

“I’m going to put you in one of the guest rooms.” He told his cat. “But don’t worry I’ll leave the tv on for you so that you won’t get bored. Or hear anything you don’t want to hear.”

The Chairman spared him a glance before going back to more pressing matters, trying to catch his tail between his front paws. Magnus snickered and flipped through a wine list he’d stolen from his posh restaurant, fumbling his phone out of his pocket when it gave a shrill ring. He really needed a new ringtone.

“Magnus Bane. What would you like me to do to you?”

“Magnus?” It was Isabelle Lightwood. “It’s Isabelle.”

He arched a brow. “Oh hello Isabelle. This is a surprise… Do you need a portal or something?”

She cleared her throat. “Actually I was wondering if Alec is there with you. He—I _know_ he spends time with you.”

Magnus leaned against his counter. “He does but he’s not here at the moment. He left a while ago and said he was going home to train or something.”

She sighed. “He’s not here. In fact no one has seen him and I—it might be stupid but I’m worried. It’s not like him to wander off.”

 _No it’s not._ Magnus glanced to the clock. “Have you tried calling him?”

“I did but he didn’t answer. He’d _never_ not answer a call from family no matter what he was doing.” She replied. “I thought perhaps he was…otherwise occupied with you but that was thirty minutes ago.”

Licking his lips, Magnus moved into his bedroom and looked into the hamper where Alec had left one of his dirty t-shirts. “I can do a locator spell for you if you want.”

“That would be great.” She said with relief. “I’m probably overacting but with everything that is going on it pays to me cautious.”

“It’s cool. I don’t mind.” Cracking his knuckles, Magnus spread the shirt out onto the floor and tripped his fingers over it, watching as the black fabric lit up light blue and formed a map of the city. He then swirled his index finger into a tiny spark and let it go, eyes tracking the movement slowly. When it stopped and flashed at Hotel Dumort he frowned. _That can’t be right…_

“Magnus?” Isabelle inquired. “Is everything okay?”

Magnus picked the shirt up and shook it out, performing the spell again. He got the same results and knew it wasn’t a glitch or a coincidence. “Yeah everything is fine Isabelle,” he lied effortlessly. “He’s stuck in traffic but he should be there soon. I guess he’s just not in the mood for walking today.”

She chuckled breathlessly. “Oh thank goodness. I knew I was worrying for nothing.”

He stood and tried to keep his voice calm. “Hey it’s better to know right?”

She hummed. “True. Well thank you for your help.”

“You’re welcome. Later.” Hanging up, he exhaled deeply looked down to see he’d melted his phone in the palm of his hand. 

Growling, he tossed it to the floor and immediately created a portal, stepping through without a second thought to find himself in what used to be the foyer of the Hotel Dumort. He could remember when the building was sparkly and new. He could also remember what fucked it up in the first place and the part he played. He could hear voices coming from the wrecked ballroom so he followed them, pushing open the termite infested doors to see a small group of vampires staring raptly at what was left of a mangled stage.

He nearly choked on his tongue at who was dangling from rusted chains like the entertainment for the night. His magic leapt out of him without his control as a wave of energy, overturning tables and chairs and sending them crashing into the wall so hard they shattered. The vampires startled and spun to look at him, moving to the side and giving him a wide berth.

Magnus shook his head and stalked through them, _daring_ one of them to come at him. He jumped up onto the stage and took Alec’s face between his trembling hands. “Alec? Oh God what…” The bruises—the bruises were ugly and blue and caked with blood. “Alec can you hear me?”

Alec’s lashes fluttered, big blue eyes opening. “Magnus.” He managed a smile. “I knew you’d find me. Where are—Jace and Isabelle?”

“I didn’t tell them where you were. I didn’t want to worry them.” Magnus snapped his fingers and the chains disappeared, sending Alec toppling into his arms. A serious case of déjà vu shocked him and he swallowed thickly, gently lowering Alec to the floor. “Fuck. What the _fuck_?”

“Oh poo.” Camille pouted as she stepped from behind a sagging curtain. “I was hoping to have more fun with him before the cavalry showed up.”

Magnus glared at her, eyes two black slits surrounded by bright yellow. “Have you lost your goddamn mind? What— _what_ would convince you that doing this was a good idea?”

She waved a hand. “I didn’t necessarily think it was a good idea but I knew it would get your attention. Took you long enough though. A few more minutes and he would have been missing some fingers.”

Magnus forced himself to keep a measure of cool otherwise he would bring the whole building down on top of them. “I always knew you were cruel but this is beyond, even for you. What possessed you to do this?”

Camille huffed. “Oh be still Magnus, the boy will be fine. His precious _stele_ will heal all of his injuries in no time. He will be as good as new.”

 _Are you kidding me?_ “That’s not the point!” Magnus shouted. “You… _kidnap_ him and bring him here and for what? To get back at me? Is that what this is about?”

She grinned and bit her lip. “A little. Or perhaps I was just bored.” Stepping over a pile of fallen bricks, she sashayed closer to him. “Perhaps I wanted to remind you and your little Shadowhunter that neither of you are as indestructible as you claim to be. If I can do this just think what Valentine can do.”

Magnus decided he didn’t care about her reasons. “Fuck you. I’m tired of your games Camille; they’re not attractive on a woman your age. Either you stay away from me _and_ Alec or I will make you regret it.” And then he met her stare dead on. “I swear on my father’s name I will make you regret it.”

Camille flinched as if he’d hit her. “Look upon the once grand Magnus Bane!” She called to her children. “Look what he’s been reduced to. A cute little pet of the Shadowhunters. It’s only a matter of time before they lock him in a nice little cage where he be—”

Even injured as he was Alec was fast, lurching to his feet and delivering a punch to Camille’s nose that broke it on contact. She yelped and staggered back, holding her bloody face as rivulets of red dripped down onto her otherwise pristine gown. 

“Kill him!” She screamed. “Rip his throat out!”

The vampires moved but Magnus lifted a hand and they paused, glancing between one another. He pressed his other hand to the stage and mumbled in Latin until black vines were crawling out of the wood and darting along the walls. They stretched up to the ceiling and wrapped tight around the light fixtures, making dust swirl down like snowflakes.

“What did you do?” Camille demanded.

Magnus ignored her slid off the stage, helping Alec down and then letting him lean heavily onto him. He wrapped an arm tenderly around his waist and slowly started for the door.

Camille followed them albeit slower. “Magnus? Magnus Bane I want you to answer me right this instant!”

Magnus waited until they were out in the hallway to turn around and look at her. He couldn’t even vaguely remember why he’d loved her anymore. But maybe she had been a different person back then, one that was actually worthy of love. “Since you and your vampires can’t seem to stay away from Alec, I’ve made it easy for you. I cursed your lovely hotel. _Clausa discubitus_.”

Camille paled—if that were possible—and one of the other vampires asked, “What does that mean?”

With no small measure of glee, Magnus grinned. “It means you are all locked inside of this hotel until I see fit to release you. Perhaps a few nights with only each other as company will mellow you out.”

“What about feeding?” Yelled another. “How will we find food?”

“I don’t know and I don’t care.” Magnus replied blankly. “Though I hear rats have certain nutritional value.”

“Wait! Wait, what about me?” A young girl with pink hair pushed out of the crowd. “Please I—I’m human.”

Alec frowned at her. “She’s the one who helped them get me here.”

 _Then she can fend for herself._ “I suggest you hide, sweetheart unless you want them to make you the main course.”

The girl gaped at him but Magnus didn’t care. He was done playing nice and letting people walk all over him. With a jaunty wave, he created another portal and disappeared through it with the screams of Camille and her children fading away behind him.

Once inside of his apartment he helped Alec to the couch and gingerly lowered him onto it. “Easy…there you go.” A beat. “I—I don’t even know what to say to you right now. I’m in shock.”

Alec hissed and dragged a hand through his sweaty hair. “It wasn’t your fault. Camille is a total psycho.”

Magnus kneeled before him and placed his forehead against his knees. “Still I’m so _so_ sorry, Alexander. I never knew she would go this far. In the past with others I’ve been with she’s never cared. I guess she realizes it is different this time.”

Alec smoothed his fingers along the back of his neck. “Did you really curse the vampires?”

Magnus nodded. “I did. Raphael wasn’t there so I said what the fuck. They deserved worse.” Getting himself together, examined his boyfriend. “Fuck she did a real number on you.”

The Shadowhunter smiled. “I’ve had worse.”

 _That is besides the point._ Shaking his head, Magnus tangled their fingers together and focused on healing Alec’s wounds. In truth spelling the entire Hotel Dumort had zapped his energy but he didn’t care. There was no way he could allow Alec to continue to be in pain, not when he could fix it. So as blue sparks jumped from between their kissing palms, he easily sought out the broken parts and mended them, smiling when Alec sighed in relief. His bruises evaporated from his flesh as if they were never there.

Sitting back on his butt when he was done, Magnus rubbed his eyes. “I’m sorry Camille ruined our evening.”

“It looks like it was going to be nice.” Alec glanced up at the floating lights.

“I guess we could try to salvage it…” Magnus suggested. “Though you should call your sister. She was worried about you not getting home yet and that’s what led me to look for you.”

Biting his bottom lip, Alec kept his eyes on the floor. “I—I think I should go home. Tonight’s kind of a bust and I just want to shower and do some training.”

Magnus could understand that. “Okay.” He waved a hand and conjured a t-shirt and shoes for him. “Will you tell them what happened?”

Alec got dressed. “I don’t know. Depends… I might give Simon a heads up so he can warn Raphael about the hotel but Jace has enough on his plate with Valentine and stuff. Besides I’m better now.”

Magnus’ brows narrowed. “Are you? The last time something like this happened you—well you didn’t react well afterwards.”

The Shadowhunter shrugged after tying his shoes. “Last time they wanted to kill me. This time Camille just wanted to humiliate me and she succeeded. There will probably be nightmares but I’ll deal.”

“You don’t have to. You can stay here with me and I’ll help you.”

“I know. I just—I think I need a little space.”

“Space? From…me?”

“No I—from _us_. Just for a bit to get myself together.”

The words were like a punch to the gut. “Alec…” _He blames me for this. And why shouldn’t he? It was my crazy ex that hurt him._ “If that’s what you need…”

Alec’s mouth turned down at the sides. “I’ll call you.” He started for the door and then turned, kissing Magnus softly on the lips. “Bye.”

“Bye.” Magnus echoed as he left.

_Why does it feel like I’ll never see him again?_


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter Two

They were set to go to Idris any day now and bring up the situation with Valentine and the Mortal Cup. Jace was eager to get the Clave’s help but Alec—surprisingly—wasn’t sure what they could do besides tell them to remain vigilante and say they’d look into it. Just knowing Valentine had resurfaced had everyone on edge and to be honest Alec had not liked the intense interrogation they’d all received once one of the Clave’s officials _finally_ got back to them. Especially Jace considering he had been outted as Valentine’s son, the one everyone thought had died. It was clear they suddenly didn’t trust him and thought him some type of…infiltrator which was ridiculous. Jace was many things but he wasn’t a _traitor_.

Clary on the other hand they were curious about but since she had never been involved in Shadowhunter business, she could be overlooked. Well, until she ended up doing something stupid or dangerous.

Still Alec was happy for the distraction even if his own parents were disappointing him where Jace was concerned. But focusing on Valentine, the Cup and going to Idris meant that he didn’t have to think about Magnus and the last time he’d seen him. He’d looked _devastated_ that Alec wanted space and truthfully he wasn’t sure it was what he _really_ wanted, but the words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. After dealing with Camille for so long and hearing her horrible words repeatedly in his head, he’d just wanted a sort of _before_ period. Before Camille, before Magnus, before anything that brought him out of his comfort zone.

Throwing all of his attention towards family matters—towards Jace—helped him get some semblance of normal back. Not that he was crushing on Jace again because he wasn’t. This time his concern was one hundred percent brotherly.

Yet with all of that in mind he hadn’t meant for an entire month of no contact with Magnus to go by. It was just—each time he took out his phone to call his he chickened out. He had no idea what to say that wouldn’t sound totally stupid. And a little voice would remind him that by seeing Magnus again, he was just throwing himself back into the fire where Camille was concerned. Did he want that? Could he handle another go with her?

Of course it hadn’t escaped his notice that Magnus hadn’t called him either and it kind of pissed him off. Though deep down he knew it was because Magnus—as always—had great respect for him and his decisions. He’d never push or demand and right now he was obviously respecting Alec’s declaration for space. It was one of the things Alec…well it was one of the reasons he was so special. One of the reasons Alec wanted to cut his own heart out so that it didn’t beat for Magnus Bane.

The one steady thing in his life was how fucked up everything was. And he hated it.

However he perhaps hated himself more.

Also there was the matter of demons and the increase in numbers they’d been lately. Usually you could find them in dark places if you went searching, but these popped up anywhere and everywhere. Scaring mundanes and prompting government officials to rattle off some excuse about gang activity at an all time high. They couldn’t prove it but there was a lingering stench that Valentine was behind it all. That he was playing some sick game and only he had the rules. Clary was wary he’d try to go for Jocelyn so she was under werewolf guard at the hospital. Without her around Clary had basically moved into the _Institute_ in a room right down the hall from Jace’s though they still played at being siblings. She spent a lot of time with Simon which he supposed wasn’t odd because they were best friends, but he could tell it annoyed Jace. 

Though sometimes Alec swore he couldn’t tell if Jace was annoyed with Simon or with Clary. Now that Simon could walk in the daylight he was somewhat of a local vampire celebrity. Others wanted to know his secret but Simon always claimed he had no idea why the sun didn’t kill him. Alec got the feeling the vampires wanted him on their side more but that would never happen. Simon was immortal now and drunk blood to survive but he was loyal to Clary, and thereby loyal to them. He’d also began training a little; watching him and Jace got at it was interesting and unnerving. He knew neither would actually hurt the other but they were still in a very weird place.

True of them all except for Isabelle. She was lucky.

_I miss Magnus._

Turning his face up to the water gushing out of the shower nozzle, Alec stood quietly for a moment before finally turning the water off. He pushed back the flowery curtain and stepped out, wrapping in the big fluffy towel lying on the counter. With a wet hand he wiped at the mirror until he could see his reflection staring back at him. There were purplish bags under his eyes and an angry bruise around his shoulder from where it had been dislocated earlier in a fight. His ribs ached and his knuckles were red; a tiny split in his lower lip pained as his ran his tongue over it. He looked about how he felt on the inside.

Sighing, he picked up his stele and carefully drew the iratze along the meat of his inner left arm, watching as the skin burned and singed. But as always the effect was near instantaneous; the meager bit of pain before the flush of _healing_ that followed. And just like that all signs of the battle he’d fought were gone and he looked good as new. Life in general needed an iratze rune.

Alec dried off and dressed as he’d done a thousand times before wandering out of his room and downstairs into the library. He was idly dragging a hand along one of the glass weapons cases when a commotion out in the hallway caught his ear. Arching a brow, he crept slowly to the door and threw it open, blinking at the sight of Isabelle and Jace nearly in full gear, their eyes stretching wide at the sight of him.

“Thought you were in the shower.” Jace said by way of greeting. “Who showers that quickly?”

 _What?_ “I was in there for a good thirty minutes scrubbing off demon ichor. I—what’s going on? Why are you dressed for battle? Did something happen?”

His siblings shared a _look_. “Um, no.” Isabelle replied slowly. “Not…exactly. Alec you’re obviously tired so you can just sit this one out. We have it under control.”

Jace nodded. “Right. You were thrown onto a disused subway track, you’ve earned a bit of rest.”

It didn’t take a genius to realize something was going on especially since usually Jace was a _much_ better liar. “Either one of you tell me what is going on or I—I’ll just follow you.”

Jace glanced to Isabelle and then shrugged. “Alright. Luke called us a few moments ago. Apparently…there was an incident at Magnus’ apartment. A bunch of vampires tried to break in and have a stern conversation with him. The ruckus was so loud a werewolf passing by—Maia somebody—told Luke and he in turn told us.”

Alec’s heart stopped and he swallowed hard. “Is—is he alright? Is Magnus alright? Did they hurt him?”

“Not that we know of.” Isabelle’s voice was gentle. “Luke went to investigate himself and says Magnus is fine but we were just going to be sure. After the way he’s helped up and nearly died saving Clary, well, it’s the least we can do.”

“You weren’t going to _tell_ me.” He accused. “How could you not tell _me_?”

“We weren’t sure you cared.” Jace shrugged matter of fact, not vicious. “It’s been a month and you haven’t so much as mentioned his name. We figured your… _friendship_ was over or that you’d had a fight bad enough that you didn’t want to see him again. So we were going to handle it ourselves.”

 _I’m going to be sick._ “I—I’m going. Wait for me.”

Without another word he was running up the staircase and down the hall to his room. He burst inside and immediately went for his weapons, grabbing his sharpest blades and throwing them onto the bed. He pulled on his boots and a hoodie, hands shaking as he strapped on his daggers. Luke said Magnus was fine but was he really? Was he fine as in not hurt or was he fine as in recovering? And if it was the latter why didn’t he _call them_ for help? They were _Shadowhunters_ and killing bad guys was their _job_. Damn the truce with vampires to hell especially after the way they’d treated him. If they’d hurt Magnus he would kill them all.

Every. Single. One.

His boots thumped loudly as he made his way back to where Isabelle and Jace were waiting. Once he was in view their whispered conversation stopped and they headed outside, jogging down the street and weaving between traffic towards Magnus’ home. Alec’s stomach was toppling over itself and by the grace of Raziel he wasn’t losing what little dinner he’d had. His nerves felt raw and sliced open. Suddenly all of the peace of being healed was gone and there was just the ache, throbbing deep and wide inside his chest. It was like watching Magnus be impaled all over again.

Felt like it took ages to get to their destination.

The front door of Magnus’ home was intact but as they took the stairs up to his actual apartment, it was clear something violent had gone down. The second door—that actually led into the living area—was hanging on its hinges from being kicked in. The couch had been over turned, the curtains yanked from the windows and the coffee table split in two. There were charred streaks across the Persian rug and tiny piles of ashes scattered across the wooden floor. The place smelled like burnt hair and for one terrible moment Alec wondered if something had happened to the Chairman. Thankfully though a second later that worry was put to rest when the cat peeked around a corner to eye them distrustfully.

And standing in the middle of the destruction puffing on a blue cigarette in tight jeans and a red button down open almost to where his bellybutton should be was Magnus. He didn’t look particularly annoyed, just resigned to the fact that his home had been screwed up, probably not for the first time. But Alec supposed when you could simply snap your fingers and make it whole again, such things weren’t important.

While he appeared calm his bright yellow eyes told another story. He stared at them and his expression was unreadable though he made no move to kick them out which was good. Alec wanted to stalk up to him and check him for wounds but reframed. After all he wasn’t sure he still had that right.

“What are you doing here?” Magnus finally asked. “I told Luke I had the situation under control.”

Jace toed at a pile of ashes. “Did this use to be a vampire?”

Magnus blew out a perfectly formed smoke ring. “Used to be.”

Jace folded his arms over his chest. “I know that you and vampires haven’t been on the friendliest of terms since you helped us rescue Alec, but this seems excessive. I thought all Downworlders stuck together.”

Magnus shrugged. “ _Some_ Downworlders stick together. Those that break into my house in the middle of the night and threaten me get set on fire.”

Moving over to a lamp that had been knocked over, Isabelle righted it and turned it on. “Do they still resent you for helping us?”

Magnus waved a hand. “No. No this is because half of their kin folk are trapped inside of the Hotel Dumort and have been for a month. Honestly I just forgot about them.”

Alec wet his lips and balled his hands into fists, nails digging into his leather gloves. When he’d returned home with nary a scratch he’d decided not to tell his siblings about what had happened to him with Camille. There was no need and the last thing he wanted was to make them worry. Besides while the entire situation screwed with his head it had been inherently different from the first time. That was honestly about causing him harm. Camille had just wanted to beat him down and humiliate him because she was jealous of him. And sure it had sucked but he wasn’t broken by it. At least not as badly as last time.

Jace arched a brow. “Why would you trap them inside of the hotel? Did they do something we should know about?”

Magnus took a slow drag of his cigarette before replying, “No. Sometimes Downworlder business is _Downworlder_ business. And contrary to what you might believe I can take care of myself. I’ve done so for many years now.”

“Not disputing that.” Jace responded. “However I don’t think it’s odd for us to care about your welfare considering…”

He let the sentence linger in the air like a thick fog and Alec found himself aching to speak up or make some type of denial about what he could have been implying. But he wasn’t certain that Jace meant anything other than Magnus being a good, new friend to the Shadowhunters. He probably would still be looking into curing Clary’s mother even if they hadn’t gotten together because it was obvious he cared about Clary.

“There is nothing to consider.” Magnus’ fingers curled and blue sparks jumped around the room, the broken furniture twisting and cracking to form completely new chairs and tables in different colors and styles. The entire room was redecorated in an instant. “Like I said I’m fine. I’ll still be around to whip up a spell or portal if you need one.”

Jace blinked and then looked from Magnus to Alec and back again. “Well, alright. I suppose we will be going then. You might want to let the vampires out though before they get too cranky. A month without food probably has them climbing the walls. Literally. And the longer they are in there the hungrier they will be.”

Moving over to his new couch, Magnus flopped down elegantly. “I’ll do it tomorrow morning and throw some blood bags in for them. Should go nicely with the rats I bet they have been eating.”

“I didn’t know you could be this…cold but I have to say I’m enjoying it.”

“We all have the propensity for dark deeds inside us. Even children of the angels.”

Jace just smirked but Alec felt the comment like a slash across his heart. “C’mon guys. If we leave now we can hit up Giovanni’s before it closes. I’m dying for pizza.”

And with that Jace and Isabelle were leaving.

Alec cursed to himself. “I—I’ll catch up.” _Smooth, Lightwood._

Thankfully his siblings just waved and exited the room, closing the now fixed door behind them. Taking a deep breath, Alec decided to just throw himself into the fire. “I was worried about you.”

Snuffing out his cigarette, Magnus crossed his long legs. “I’m fine.”

Alec fiddled with the closing strap of his glove. “I know I just—when Jace said vampires had tried to attack you I thought the worst. I thought you were hurt.”

“I’m fine.” Magnus repeated.

“Magnus…” Alec took the chance of removing his weapons and slowly sitting on the edge of the sofa. “I’m sorry. I know I should have called but I, well I had no clue what to say.”

“It’s okay.” Magnus said softly. “Your silence spoke for you. To be honest with the way you left and saying you needed space I expected… _this_. There is only so much a person can take, even a Shadowhunter. I’m not angry.”

“What are you talking about?” Alec asked in confusion. “What is _this_? It’s true that I needed space but I _swear_ I meant to call you. Time just got away from me.”

“I’d rather you didn’t insult my intelligence.” Magnus stared at him. “You broke up with me, and it’s obviously what you needed so it’s okay. You didn’t sign on for crazy ex-girlfriends with a thing for chains.”

 _Broke up!?_ “No! I—why would you think we broke up?”

Magnus pinched the bridge of his nose. “I haven’t heard a single peep from you in a month. A _month_ , Alec. What else was I supposed to take from that?”

Alec jumped to his feet. Is that really how their communication blackout came off? “That I needed time for myself. Besides you—you could have called me if you wanted to.”

The warlock snorted. “Right call you and bug you when you stated quite clearly that you didn’t want to be around me. I was respecting your boundaries.” Sighing, he turned his attention out of the window. “I think it’s a personal flaw—looking after other people but Catarina would disagree with me. Clearly I have no self preservation instincts.”

Dragging a hand through his hair, Alec shook his head. He had never seen Magnus like this before; quiet and contemplative. Of course he knew there were things in Magnus’ past—upsetting things—but it was a shock to see him so despondent because of something _he_ had done. “We aren’t broken up. We aren’t.”

Magnus hummed. “Maybe we should be. Maybe this is the clean break we both need so that things don’t escalate to the point where it would hurt worse.”

 _It could be worse?_ “ _No_. Please tell me you’re not giving up on me so easily?”

That made him frown. “Easy? You think any of this is _easy_ for me? Staying away from you in the state you were in when you left here, when all I wanted to do was wrap my arms around you and make sure you were okay? Knowing deep down it was _my fault_ because Camille is the devil stalking my shadows? Knowing she only went after you because of _me_? None of this is easy, Alexander. Not one damn bit.” Pause. “But it if keeps you out of Camille’s crosshairs then I guess it’s what’s best.”

“I can handle Camille.” Alec stood straighter. “She doesn’t play fair so I won’t play fair either. This is exactly what she would want, you know? You’d be playing right into her hands.”

Magnus got up and smoothed a hand across his face. He looked tired. “I’m well aware of what _Camille_ wants. I don’t see her calling me over for tea anytime soon after what I’ve done to her though. With any luck she’ll take this slight seriously and fuck off to wherever she was before she came back to the city.”

Alec couldn’t stand it anymore and pushed himself into Magnus’ space, close but not touching. “Even if she doesn’t I don’t care. I want to be with you and I’m sorry I made you think otherwise. I just…it’s hard. Living a lie and pretending to be something I’m not for the benefit of others is _hard_. And I know I could come out but I’m terrified of it. Jace and Isabelle won’t care but others? My parents? I don’t want to be judged that way.”

Magnus reached out as if to touch his cheek but then let his hand fall back to his side. It was weird and _wrong_ to see him holding back. “Whether it’s now or ten years from now you’ll still be judged. It’s what assholes do. But you’re young and you have time to figure out how you want to play things. If you want to play at all.”

Wincing, Alec tilted his head back so that he could see Magnus properly. It was silly but he’d always loved that Magnus was taller than him, that sometimes he would loom and box him in against the wall or counter and kiss him. What should have made him feel trapped just made his pulse race rather pleasantly. “I want you,” he whispered. “It’s selfish and unfair but it’s the truth. It was the truth a month ago and it’s the truth now.”

“There are other truths.” Magnus said. “Ones that I think might outweigh anything else. We’re very different. You’re very young and honestly there are more skeletons in my closet I’d rather you not find out about. I’ve lived a long time and I have a lot of baggage.”

“Like I don’t?” Alec scoffed. “I might not have crazy exes but I have being a Shadowhunter and all that means. And it’s not like my mom and dad will be thrilled I’m—that I’m gay let alone with a Downworlder. I don’t know which they’ll dislike more.”

Magnus smiled just a little. “Perhaps you should wait and come out when you have a nice Shadowhunter boyfriend.”

Alec took the risk of threading their fingers together, happy when Magnus didn’t pull away. “Then I suppose I’ll be in the closet forever.” Biting the inside of his jaw, his blue eyes narrowed in determination. “What do I have to do to prove to you that you’re the one I want?”

When Magnus didn’t immediately reply Alec took a step back and shrugged out of his hoodie. His black t-shirt followed and he was reaching for the buckle of his belt when Magnus grabbed his hands to stop him. “Not that I don’t appreciate the strip show but, what are you doing?” There was humor in Magnus voice which was a good sign. Probably.

“Proving it to you.” Alec replied earnestly. “I want _you_. I never stopped. So—so if you still want me too then…you should have me. All of me.”

The yellow of Magnus’ beautiful eyes seemed to glow brightly and Alec shivered. “Jesus, Alec. You don’t pull any punches, do you?” He dragged his thumb across Alec’s pouty lips. “I wish I was the type of person that could take you up on your offer. But I don’t think falling into bed together will solve anything.”

Alec leaned into his touch. “We could try it and see. Magnus, please. I know I was kind of a dumbass by not contacting you but you just—you make me feel things I’ve never felt before and I don’t know how to handle them sometimes. Then there is Camille being a bitch at every turn and telling me I’ll hurt you because one day I’ll die and leave you alone, and I _never_ want to hurt you because I love you but at the same time I’m scared to death of how much I love you and—”

A single finger pressed against his mouth stopped his rambling and he blinked slowly. _What did I do now?_

Magnus dipped down and kissed him, just a brief touching of lips. “I love you too.”

“I—oh.” _Oh!_ “I—I didn’t even realize I’d said that.”

“I figured.” Magnus cupped his face, thumbs brushing in soothing circles on the apple of his cheeks. “Did you mean it?”

Any other time Alec would have sputtered and pulled away, probably ran out the door and down the street until he was home. Pretended nothing of the sort had happened and slipped farther back into the closet, convincing himself he was happy there because it was safe. Just like being in love with Jace had been safe because he knew deep down nothing would ever become of it. Yet he and Magnus were on tentative footing right now and the wrong answer could send them tumbling into oblivion.

“I did. I do.” Alec murmured. “I think I have for a while now. Camille she—she said it and I tried to deny it because it’s sort of scary. Uncharted territory and everything.”

Magnus-- _finally_ —pulled him in for a comforting hug. “Well now I understand why she acted so irrational and kidnapped you. It’s different now that she knows this isn’t one sided.” A beat. “And I understand the fear but I would never do anything to ‘cause you pain, Alexander. Not if I could help it.”

Alec wrapped his arms around Magnus and squeezed probably too tight, smiling when his boyfriend coughed out a laugh. “So does this mean you realize we’re not broken up?”

Magnus nodded. “I do. Though…” Trailing off, he sighed. “Did you really just forget to call me? Were you not thinking about me at all?”

 _Completely the opposite._ “Actually I think I was thinking about you too much. When I left here I just knew I needed some time to get my head on straight. Camille showed me something about a possible future for us and it ripped my heart out. And honestly I was _so tired_ between dealing with Valentine and her and Clary. I didn’t understand why things had to be so hard. But it makes sense in a fucked up way because you have to fight for the things you truly want.” He grabbed Magnus wrist. “I’ll fight for you, Magnus.”

Suddenly Magnus’ hands slid down under his thighs and he lifted, making Alec yelp in surprise as he picked him without much effort. It was very sexy; he liked being reminded of how strong the warlock was. Alec held onto his shoulders and slipped his legs around Magnus’ waist, daring to steal a kiss and then two as Magnus carried him into his bedroom. He was dumped carefully onto the large bed and pinned by the weight of Magnus’ body, grinning as his boyfriend nuzzled his neck.

 _And he_ is _my boyfriend._ And like a kick to the face Alec was reminded just how close he’d came to losing Magnus. How close Camille came to getting everything she wanted even if Magnus never went back to her. _I should just kill her. Who would care?_

Magnus kissed his throat. “Stay the night?”

“Of course.” Alec gripped his waist. “Oh um, I think we’re going to be going to Idris soon. You should come.”

Magnus lifted onto his elbows so that he could see his face but otherwise kept them pressed together. “I’d need an invitation.”

Shifting to get comfortable, Alec kissed his chin. “I’ll try to get you one. Personally it would be a good strategy to have a powerful warlock on our side. Even the Clave should be able to see that.”

“I guess we’ll see. What about your parents?”

“What about them?”

“If they ask why I am there or how we became acquainted, what should I say?”

“Well…we _are_ friends. I can have any type of friends I want.”

“Ah yes, friends. Friends who sometimes get naked and crawl all over each other.”

Snickering, Alec raked his nails up Magnus’ flawless back. “If you said that I would faint and their eyes would probably, literally, pop out of their heads.”

Magnus arched into his touch like a cat. “I could fix that.”

 _Heh._ “Have you ever met my parents before?”

For a brief moment Magnus’ expression went carefully blank. “I have,” he said slowly. “A long time ago. You were most likely still in preschool or whatever.”

“That’s sort of a mind fuck.” Alec replied matter of fact. “I wonder how I would have reacted to meeting you at that age.”

“I don’t know.” Magnus replied but Alec got the sense he was lying. “But we shouldn’t dwell on the past. We should focus on the future. Our future.”

Alec decided to let it got for now. “Okay. I—” A yawn cut off whatever else he was going to say. “Sorry I haven’t been sleeping that well. Missed you playing blanket hog…”

Magnus rolled to the side and gestured to his jeans. “Let’s go to bed then. And tomorrow you can tell me what Camille showed you that upset you so badly.”

 _Naturally he’d remembered that part of the conversation._ “What? No making out?”

Smirking, Magnus rolled his eyes playfully. “I’m trying to be good. However how about I wake you up in a special way tomorrow morning?”

Alec flushed and shimmied out of his jeans. “What kind of special way?”

Turning off the lamp on the bedside table, Magnus snapped his fingers and the tiny Christmas lights hanging on the curtains popped on. “The special way that has your cock in my mouth.”

“By the angel...” Alec choked out, face red but he was smiling. Smiling so widely that any other time his face would have probably started aching.

But damn he had missed this. Missed Magnus and his smirks and his dirty words. Missed his strong arms and warm naked skin in the middle of the night when a chill entered the room. How could he actually have gone a whole month without any of it? Hell he wasn’t even sure if things were _fixed_ but he knew here is where he wanted to be. Always if he could swing it.

_But you don’t have always, remember? You have many fifty or sixty years and then it will be someone else here eventually. Your younger replacement that might get to hear all of the pretty, dirty words Magnus is so good at whispering. And that is if you’re lucky. You might not even make it to see twenty._

Frowning at his own thoughts, Alec crawled under the covers and scooted so close to Magnus he was practically on top of him. “Do you think the impossible is possible?”

Magnus buried a hand in his thick hair and played with the silky strands. “You have angel blood and I’m immortal. Of course the impossible is possible. I firmly believe we make our own destiny.”

Alec listened to his heartbeat. “I want to make mine.” _I want forever_.

“Then make it.” Magnus told him. “Whatever it is you want to do, do it. I have faith that you can.”

Perhaps but how did one accomplish forever?

*

After waking a sleepy Alec up with a lazy blow job that just made him tired all over again, Magnus left him dozing and curled around a pillow looking adorable in his big bed. He’d dressed, kissed his boyfriend on the cheek and set out for the Hotel Dumort on foot because he was in no hurry to let the vampires out. In truth he would leave them in there forever if he could but eventually other Downworlders would probably have something to say about it. The only reason they weren’t involved now was because most knew vampires could be assholes. If you had a beef with them it was—nine times out of ten—justified.

And there was nothing more justified than locking them up for what they’d done to Alec.

The past month had went by excruciatingly slow for Magnus especially once it became clear that Alec wasn’t going to contact him again. Yes he could have called him but like he’d told the Shadowhunter he didn’t want to be that overbearing asshole, trying to force communication. Maybe if they’d just had a regular fight but there was nothing regular about what Camille had done to him. In all honestly Magnus totally expect the blame to fall on his shoulders. Camille wouldn’t be going after Alec otherwise.

Knowing that Alec was out there but not being able to see him or touch him was its own form of torture. He’d silently hoped Alec was devastated by their break up, and that maybe once things calmed down they could reconnect. If that never happened his long term plan to avoid Shadowhunters consisted of not returning their calls for favors and basically disappearing to some tropical paradise where he could await the end of the world in peace. Well after helping Clary’s mom of course.

But apparently Alec had not wanted to break up with him; he was just so very young, younger than Magnus had previously thought. Sometimes it made him feel stupid to want someone like this so badly but he couldn’t help it. Alec was perfection and Magnus—God help him—wanted him like he hadn’t wanted anything in a very long time. It was exhilarating to feel so alive after being alive for so long. Yet also terrifying that it kind of hedge on this one…clueless boy.

This clueless boy Magnus figured would never grasp the depth of his own emotions.

And then he’d said three little words and managed to surprise Magnus all over again.

People didn’t tell you that there was more to being in love than sparkles and sunlight. That sometimes it could be dark and downright frightening. Giving yourself to someone else and _trusting_ them to take care of you? He could understand why some decided to go without it.

Things with Alec weren’t one hundred percent and they weren’t _fixed_ but at least they were on the same page. At least they both knew they loved each other.

_However going to Idris might do worse damage than Camille ever could. But if I ever want to help Jocelyn I need to go there._

Standing in front of the Hotel Dumort, Magnus smirked to himself and slowly pushed open the graffiti covered front door. The building was formally condemned so no one ever tried to sneak inside. And once word got out that the addicts who squatted inside were never seen again, it stopped doubling as a drug den. Magnus stepped over broken floor boards and splintered chairs to make his way into what was once the grand ballroom. There were bodies lying all around—vampires with hardly any strength left to move. They barely looked at him as he stood in the middle of the room, surveying the damage he’d help bring about.

Curled up near the boarded up window was a tiny body with pink hair and more puncture wounds than a human could ever survive. He made his way over and checked for a pulse but found none. A tiny part of him was remorseful for leaving Kara to the mercy of the vampires but if you lay down with dogs you’d wake up with fleas.

“Co—come to gloat?” Asked a raspy voice and Camille’s knotted head of blonde hair slowly popped up over the back of her chaise. “Look what you—you’ve done to my children. Nearly desiccated.”

“Perhaps next time you’ll be a better mother to them and not send them off on fool’s errands.” Magnus replied. “And no I am not here to gloat. I’m here to release you.”

She arched a brow. “Why now?”

He sighed. “I guess I think you’ve learned your lesson. Of course if you haven’t being trapped in here will be the least of your worries.” Pressing a hand to the dirty wall, he focused on the strands of the spell he’d cast and snapped the bonds in half. The building shuddered once it was free; like a body stretching after being in one position for too long. “There. Oh, here so that you won’t get yourselves into trouble with the Clave.” Snapping his fingers, he caused plastic bottles of blood to rain down from the ceiling. “A gift.”

She snorted but practically threw herself at one of the bottles. “How charitable. Though I doubt Kara would say the thing.”

Magnus shrugged. “Her fate is her own fault. Free will is a thing.” As he watched the other vampires slowly start to liven up thanks to the blood, he nodded and headed for the door. “Behave yourself, Camille. Next time I won’t be so agreeable.”

“I’ll stay away from your Shadowhunter.” She said lips red and wet. “But you can’t blame me if he comes looking for me.”

“Why on _Earth_ would he come looking for you?”

“You have secrets and I have answers. And he is such a curious little puppy. If he asks I will feel obligated to be truthful. I owe him that much.”

“He won’t ask.” Magnus was confident. “When the time comes I’ll tell him whatever he wishes to know.” He frowned. “Camille we have a very long history with each other and not all of it was bad. I don’t want to see you hurt but if you interfere with Alec again, I’ll burn this place down around you.”

Camille glared at him challengingly before balking at what she saw. “Your father would be proud.”

Magnus flinched. “So would your maker.”

Camille swallowed thickly and that was the end of their conversation. She reached for another bottle of blood and he left, closing the front door securely behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First as always thank you for your support! Secondly you guys know I’ve only skimmed the Malec parts in the book (and a few Sebastian parts for my other fic) so I was wondering if there were any things you guys wanted to see in this fic series? I do have more ideas and I can’t promise I’ll use them all but I’d be willing to try. 
> 
> So feel free to drop it in a comment or message me on [my tumblr!](http://one100suns.tumblr.com)


	3. Chapter Three

Chapter Three

Alec woke up to an empty bed and a tiny fur foot pressing against the end of his nose. He blinked slowly before smiling at the cat on Magnus’ pillow, reaching over to scratch behind its pointed ears. The Chairman purred happily and settled in for what he probably assumed to be a nice long bout of attention paid to him. And really since he had nothing else to do and nowhere to go, Alec indulged him for a little bit. At least he wasn’t angry at him for disappearing for a whole month. Then again if he had been he most likely could have just lured him back with treats.

“Was Magnus very sad without me?” Alec inquired softly. “I didn’t mean hurt him. I guess a part of me figured he would be fine, maybe even better off without me for a while. I really was taking that time to heal and train so that I could be ready for whatever else Camille threw at me. Though something tells me she won’t be messing with me anymore thanks to what Magnus did.”

Chairman Meow yawned and stretched his legs out, tail flicking from side to side.

Giving him a final scratch, Alec shifted to lie on his back and stare at the ceiling. The sheets were soft against his naked skin and when he remembered how he was originally awoken he blushed and nibbled on his bottom lip. He’d wanted more—been ready for more—but he supposed Magnus was right although he was hesitant to admit it because it was almost like going back to the beginning. And he didn’t need that. He didn’t need to relearn how he felt for Magnus because it had never gone away. If anything it was stronger.

But for a month Magnus had thought they weren’t together and that sort of thing made a wound in one’s heart. Magnus seemed okay but he couldn’t help but wonder if that was honestly the case. Or was he putting on a show to protect his feelings? _Wouldn’t be the first time…_ But things were good or at least looking up. They’d said I love you for the first time and that was a huge deal.

“I’ve never been in love before.” He said aloud. “I didn’t know it hurt this much. Not that it hurts _now_ but… And I’m talking to a cat.”

The Chairman meowed as if to say _that’s okay. I’m a good conversationalist._

Suddenly the sounds of music drifted down the hallway and he nearly fell out of bed trying to get from beneath he covers. He smoothed down his hair and walked causally out into the living room to see Magnus in the kitchen through the open door, conjuring up food and then dismissing it to conjure up something else. He was back in his pajamas, bare feet tapping against the floor. Alec just watched him for a moment, feeling warmth swell up in his chest and then explode to the rest of his body.

_I want to wake up to this forever._

“What are you doing?”

Magnus turned and flashed a smile. “Trying to decide what I want to make you for breakfast. It’s our first breakfast in a while but nothing seems good enough.”

Alec snorted. “I’ll eat whatever and really? This is you _making breakfast?_ ”

Magnus smirked. “I could do it the old fashioned way but why bother? Save that for later.”

Alec shook his head but he was grinning. “I really missed you.” Magnus crooked a finger at him but he held up both hands. “In a second. I want to…freshen up.”

And then he was hurrying into the bathroom.

After reliving himself and getting his teeth minty fresh, Alec crossed the living room and into the kitchen. He cut an eye to where Magnus was fiddling with something at the sink—back turned—and shrugged to reach for a piece of bacon. A hand shot out quick as lightning and just like that he was in Magnus’ arms, face pressed into the warlock’s neck.

“So…” His voice was muffled. “Does this mean you don’t want me to eat breakfast?”

Magnus laughed. “You’re being more of a smart ass than usual today. I like it. But to answer your question I just wanted a hug. Is that wrong?”

Alec wrapped both arms around his waist and squeezed. “Never wrong. We have a lot of hugs to make up for.” Pause. “But um, how did things go at the hotel?”

As he answered, his lips brushed Alec’s ear. “Fine. I undid the spell and gave them blood so that they wouldn’t be tempted to go out tonight and kill a bunch of poor mundanes. The pink haired girl was dead though.”

 _I do feel bad but we lay in the beds we make._ “Hm. And Camille?”

Magnus placed small kisses along his jaw. “Livid but I think she learned her lesson. She promised to stay away from you and for once I honestly believed her.” Sighing, he pulled back so their eyes met. “You—you won’t go looking for her, right?”

Alec blinked. “Why would I go looking for her? I mean unless it’s to kill her.”

Magnus wet his lips and appeared to be at war with what he wanted to say next. “Camille has known me for many, many years and when we were on better terms I told her things in confidence that I now wish I could erase from her memory.”

Curiosity piqued, Alec stroked his cheek. “Like what?”

It was difficult for Magnus to talk about his past or perhaps complicated. But he replied, “Things about past Shadowhunters I have known. Things I’ve done. Things I have _seen_ that were so horrible I had my memory wiped. Catarina helped with that. I know you’re extremely curious about my pass and she said if there was something you want to know, she’d tell you. She’d tell you to screw us up even more.”

“I—” Alec leaned back against the table. “I do want to know all there is to know about you, Magnus. But I want _you_ to tell me. I want you to feel secure enough to tell me things, even the bad things. And I—I understand that our _break up_ shook our foundation but I’d hope we get to a point again where you trust me.”

“Angel, I do trust you. I trust you with my life.” Magnus whispered. “I just think focusing on the past is a bit silly. I want to live in the present with you and not think about the before.” Smiling, he combed slender fingers through Alec’s silky hair. “But…just be patient with me. I’ll tell you things. I promise.”

Alec wanted to tell him that he would wait forever but the words were clogged inside of his throat, refusing to come out. They didn’t _have_ forever, not really. Even if he lived to be one hundred years old it would be just a blip for someone who would never die. The more he thought about it the more depressed he became.

And then Magnus was tipping up his chin. “What did Camille say to you that upset you so badly?”

The Shadowhunter glanced away. “She was just being a bitch.”

Magnus hummed. “I believe that whole-heartedly but I still want to know what she said. Please?”

Alec shuddered and burrowed deeper into Magnus’ arms. Should he tell him? Would it even matter? “You’re going to live forever, Angel willing. I won’t. If I don’t die in some upcoming war I might manage to get old. But you won’t…not on the outside anyway.” He sighed. “She showed him what will happen when I’m too old to remember who you are. When I eventually die.”

Magnus kissed the top of his head. “First off I’m sorry that she pulled such a cheap shot with you. Naturally you’d be worried about that sort of thing and she was a horrid little snake for preying on your gears. Second, what makes you think I wouldn’t use every available spell or whatever I have access to, to keep your mind just as sharp as it is now? I’d never let you fade away from me so easily.”

 _I don’t want to fade away at all._ “You can’t stop my death though. Even you aren’t that powerful.”

“Alec.” Magnus gestured to the chairs and they both sat. “I won’t lie and say being alive three hundred years hasn’t been amazing because in a way, it has. I’ve seen such wonderful things. But I’ve also said good-bye to a lot of wonderful people.” He tapped his fingers on the table. “You see it as me going forward but actually, you’d be the one leaving me behind. In death you’d reunite with your family and friends. I’ll never have that.”

“I know.” Alec grabbed his hand. “I’ll _leave you_ and you’ll have to mourn me and it won’t be easy. And I—I’ll _never_ see you again. How is that fair? How can life put us together so perfectly and then say it’s not forever? I don’t know if I want to live forever but I _do_ know I don’t want to leave you.” A beat. “And it’s just going to get harder, isn’t it? If we’re together for fifty years it’s going to be devastating when I die. I don’t want to do that to you. I don’t want to break you.”

“Oh, my sweet Alexander. If only everyone loved me as fiercely as you do.” Magnus cupped his cheek. “Losing you? I truthfully don’t know if I’ll ever get over it. If I’ll want to. But I suppose that is sort of the point. If I could just move on so easily then what we had—or have—wouldn’t be much. And I want it to be epic. It’ll hurt but don’t think for a second that I would rather not mourn you.”

“I’d rather you didn’t have to. I’d rather we could either be together forever or die and meet again.”

“Well we live in a world where anything is possible, remember? However I think for now we should focus on Valentine not getting his hands on the Mortal cup. And I still need to cure Clary’s mother which means getting to Idris would be favorable to me.”

“When we get there I’ll ask for an audience with the Inquisitor and make a case for you coming.”

“Heh and you think she’ll listen. Even if I wasn’t a Downworlder I still wouldn’t be her favorite person.”

“Maybe but I’ll plead my case anyway. Besides you’re a very powerful warlock and I think it would be sensible to have you on our side. All Downworlders to be honest considering how much Valentine hates them. What’s the point of our truce if we can’t work together against a common enemy?”

“That may be but some Shadowhunters will always see Downworlders as lesser beings. Granted they don’t toss out the cutlery we use anymore so I suppose that’s a bit of progress.”

 _What?_ “What? Who did that?”

Magnus chuckled. “It was a very long time ago. Anyway…” He flicked at the food. “Eat. I know you’re probably hungry. Afterwards we’ll do whatever my lovely wants to do. However I think it should be something totally normal like…shopping.”

Alec made a face. “I don’t need to go shopping. My clothes are fine for what I need them for.”

Magnus arched a brow. “I didn’t say we’d be buying clothes. Shopping covers a wide variety of things. Also perhaps I just want to take you out and spoil you for a while.”

Alec reached for several pancakes. “Okay. But only if I get to spoil you too.”

“Deal.”

*

While true that Magnus could snap anything he wanted into his possession, he still liked to troll the boutiques like a regular person to see what was new and what he might be conjuring up later. It worked especially well when he was in the market for a new Armani jacket or what have you. Alec looked squirrelly beside him, obviously wishing he was invisible but Magnus refuse to appear as if he was talking to himself. His poor Shadowhunter also seemed to be waffling between wanting to hold his hand and just not being able to dredge up the nerve. Usually Magnus would take the initiative but he realized now wasn’t the time.

“I feel like people are staring at me.” Alec said unhappily.

Magnus patted his shoulder. “Well you are insanely gorgeous and mundanes have eyes. I’m not the only one who finds the combination of black hair and blue eyes beautiful. Or maybe they are worried you are about to rob the place because you keep looking around like you stole something. Relax angel.”

Alec pouted. “Is it weird that I find mundanes hard to deal with?”

Magnus shook his head. “No. You don’t have a lot of experience with them so I get it. But they aren’t going to sneak attack you. They might ask if you need any help and if they do just politely decline. Now…” Drifting over to a glass display of expensive jewelry, he hummed contentedly. “Aren’t they lovely? Diamonds aren’t what they used to be though. They’re smaller.”

Alec smiled. “They all look the same to me.”

“Do you want one?” Magnus inquired completely serious. “How about a nice watch since I’m sure necklaces aren’t your thing…”

“It would probably just get broken when I’m fighting.” Alec mused. “Besides I’d want one that was more practical.”

“All I heard was _yes Magnus get me a pretty watch_.” Magnus winked at him. “You can wear it on our dates.”

Alec gave an exasperated sigh but he was smiling so Magnus wasn’t too worried. What he _was_ concerned about however was whatever mind games Camille had played on him. Sure it had been a month since but shit like that tended to stay with you. And of course she’d known exactly where to hit him the hardest but that was a particular skill of hers; knowing just where to go in for the kill.

It wasn’t that his immortality wasn’t on his mind because it was. He’d lost more people than he cared to think about and he hated the thought that Alec would eventually be one of them. It was worse to love a Shadowhunter because they threw themselves into danger for the greater good. Some lucky demon or troubled Downworlder or whatever could get in just the right strike and that would be the end of Alec. At least with a mundane you figured barring being hit by a bus they were good to go for a few decent years.

So now Alec had that crap swirling around in his head as well as his issues with being gay. Not to mention family drama and whatever Valentine was going to do next. It was a wonder he was managing to keep it all together.

_Oh and lest I forget Camille’s threat about revealing my past to him._

There was too much going on, too much at stake right now for him to have to deal with relationship drama. But he loved Alec and he wanted to keep him for good this time. He’d made a promise and he intended to keep it. He’d open up…

First he’d attempt to get his hands on the book that contained the spell to heal Jocelyn and then he’d think about what else it could do.

A hand touched his elbow and he blinked back to attention. “Hm? I’m sorry sweetheart what did you say?”

Alec was studying him critically as if he knew something was wrong. “Are you okay?”

Had they been alone Magnus would have kissed him. “I’m fine. Just thinking about everything we’re going to be dealing with very soon.”

Alec nodded. “As long as we keep the Cup away from Valentine everything else should be easy. Unless he tries to leverage it again. We can’t have mundanes caught in the crossfire again.”

 _No we can’t._ “Next time it’ll be demons…I wager.” Rubbing his chin, he motioned towards the front doors before the bubbly salesperson could reach them. “Let’s go. I’ve seen enough to pop whatever I want into my apartment later.”

“That’s stealing.” Alec whispered. “Why do you make people pay you if you’re just gonna steal stuff later?”

“I like the thrill.” Magnus smirked and shoved his hands into the pockets of his snakeskin coat. “For such an upstanding citizen you’re throwing in your lot with someone…not exactly on the side of right. Not all of the time anyway. I guess it’s true what they say. Girls _really do_ like bad boys.”

Alec threw his head back with a laugh. “Oh shut up. I fully understand that since you can, you do. You’re like Jace that way…”

 _Rude!_ “If anything Jace is like me since I’m older.”

Wetting his lips, Alec kept walking causally but angled his body so that their fingers would brush. “I’m having fun. I know it might not seem like it but I am.”

“I know.” Magnus smiled softly. “You’re joking around and busting my balls. If you weren’t having fun you’d be quiet as a church mouse.”

“I just—I was worried things would be awkward because of our break.” Alec replied honestly. “That we would treat each other differently.”

“No need for that. I think we’ve fallen back into the flow quite nicely.” Magnus quickly gave his hand a squeeze. “Besides it was an accidental break. And I don’t see it happening again.”

“No it won’t.” Alec vowed. “From now on I’m going to work through my issues—whatever they might be—with you. I promise.”

Magnus gazed at him and just hoped he could keep his promise as well.

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had previous designs to add a 4th part to this so that it was equal to other parts in the series but after going back & re-reading I decided this is actually a pretty good ending to this part. I decided to end it here so that I can start the next part in the series fresh with a new set of issues for them to tangle. Thank you to everyone who has read thus far, commented or bugged me to update. I <3 all of you!


End file.
